


The Field Where I Died

by vivilove



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Acceptance, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Character Death, Denial, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Jon was a cop, Jon watches over Sansa even in death, Soul Bond, This is possibly the saddest thing I've ever written, but he kind of falls for Sansa, edd is a good friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-18
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2021-01-26 10:20:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21372556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vivilove/pseuds/vivilove
Summary: Detective Snow doesn't exactly understand what happened after he'd gone to meet his informant.  He just knew he needed to get home to his wife.That night while waiting for her husband to come home, Sansa takes in a stray dog.
Relationships: Jon Snow & Edd Tollett, Jon Snow/Sansa Stark, Sansa Stark & Edd Tollett, Sansa Stark & Ghost
Comments: 59
Kudos: 112
Collections: JonsaWeek2019





	The Field Where I Died

**Author's Note:**

  * For [chocolateghost](https://archiveofourown.org/users/chocolateghost/gifts).

> I'm sorry. Please, don't hate me. This has been in my head for ages and I still can't believe I wrote it 😭. 
> 
> Gifted to Brad who likes pain 😅. Read the endnotes afterwards if you want a laugh.
> 
> For Jonsa Week Day 1 Prompt - Present

“They don’t know they’re dead.”

_The Sixth Sense_

* * *

The field where they were to meet was off Highway 11. It was a large field but surrounded by trees. He didn’t like the isolated feel of this but his informant had said it was someplace he’d never be spotted. Edd had berated him about going, saying he shouldn’t go alone but this guy was nervous enough without pulling his partner along. This was also the break they needed.

Three months, Jon and Edd had been working this case. Three months of chasing leads and this was the best one yet. Organized crime would feel the ripples of this bust from the local thugs all the way up to the capos and the boss. Jon figured it’d give him a little more cred in the department, from detective to sergeant probably, maybe lieutenant in another five years if he was lucky.

That was good. The school year would end soon and Sansa had already said she wanted to stay home with the baby the first year. Four years they’d been married. They’d been together since they were kids other than one stupid fight first year of college that had busted them up for six miserable months. When he’d won her back, he’d sworn to himself then he’d never let her go again. Even if someday she didn’t want him anymore, his heart would always be hers. So many guys in the department wound up divorced but he could never imagine that for him and Sansa.

On the perimeter of the field, he spied a white shape moving along the tree line. It was dusk out already and it gave him a chill. But soon he realized it was just a dog. He whistled and the animal stopped, its head tilted to the side.

“Hey, boy,” he called. “Thought you were a ghost.”

The dog approached him, wagging its tail in a friendly way. Oh, to enjoy the carefree life of a dog.

Jon checked for a collar. There was none. “You’re a sweet boy. I’d take you home if I could. Sansa would spoil you rotten. Not sure tonight’s the best night though,” he said as he heard a car pulling off the road.

The dog slunk off towards the trees as the car pulled to a stop. His guy on the inside was running a few minutes behind, not abnormal for him. The guy was always so twitchy.

The doors opened, both driver and passenger side and too late Jon realized it was not his guy. His arm already felt heavy when he started returning fire. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed how dark it was growing when he saw a flash of white moving through the trees again. He needed to get home. Sansa would be waiting.

* * *

Jon was working late. The doorbell was not expected at this time of night. She’d been a cop’s wife for nearly four years now. She’d told herself detective work was less dangerous than being a uni. But dread filled her in a heartbeat with the dying echo of that doorbell.

She glanced down at her left hand. The diamond ring and gold band Jon had given her winked at her under the light of the foyer. She had her hand poised protectively over her rounded belly when she opened the door.

Edd was standing behind Chief Mormont and another one she’d never met. A chaplain, she realized. Her blood seemed to freeze inside her. There were tears in Edd’s eyes. The chief was choking on his words.

The white stray she’d found sitting outside their home this evening when she’d returned from Jeyne’s nuzzled against her leg and whined. She’d brought it inside to feed and wondered how Jon would feel about keeping him if they couldn’t find the owner.

“I’m so sorry, Mrs. Snow,” the chaplain said.

* * *

He’d come home to her. He’d never made promises about those things because it seemed like a foolhardy promise for a cop to make. But he’d raced across the field and through the woods and back home that night to find her. He couldn’t leave her. He loved her too much to leave her alone.

But she wasn’t the same with him…or he wasn’t the same. Things were different than they’d been somehow. She still loved him, he knew, and he loved her so much. His whole world lit up when she walked in the door and would be cast into darkness when she went away. But she’d come back. She always did and his heart would soar when he saw her.

She would touch him but not like before. She said she shouldn’t let him sleep with her. He didn’t understand. Because of the baby? Was she upset with him? But they were just sleeping, just lying together and that was enough for him. And in the end, she’d always call him to bed when she turned out the lights at night.

Her kisses were different. His were, too. She’d run her fingers through his hair and murmur things to him but it wasn’t intimate in the same way. It was affectionate but not intimate.

She was sad, very sad. She cried a lot. She told him the Celexa was considered safe during pregnancy but she couldn’t take the risk. She poured the bottle’s contents down the toilet. He didn’t understand. She said the baby was all that mattered now. Didn’t she know that she mattered too?

He’d do whatever he could to comfort her, to express his own grief, to show her he was by her side. And he knew she got it. She told him she didn’t know what she’d do without him. Her salty tears wetted his tongue and after a while she’d give him something to eat.

Edd came to visit often. They didn’t talk to each other like before but Edd would reach out and touch him. He hated seeing his partner and friend so sad.

“He came to you that night?” Edd asked, mystified.

“Yeah.”

“What’s his name?”

“Ghost.”

* * *

  
Even though school wasn’t out just yet, she was already off from work. She didn’t go many places but when she did, she took him with her.

“I need you with me,” she told him. “You make me stronger.”

He wasn’t going anywhere without her. She could have every ounce of his strength if she needed.

When the time drew closer, he heard her talking with her mom. They’d laughed at the idea of a home birth before but now Sansa was insistent. “I don’t want to go to the hospital. I want to be home. I want Ghost near when he comes,” she told her mother who didn’t understand.

Something could go wrong and it worried him but it was ultimately her body that would be giving birth to his son. He would trust her judgment.

Then one night, he sat at the end of the bed, frustrated that he couldn’t see better and couldn’t understand it all. Her strained grunts and stifled cries made him feel sick, made him feel shaky, made him feel like pacing. He paced. Didn’t expectant fathers do lots of pacing?

“Go lie down!” her mother barked at him.

“He’s fine,” Sansa told her mother through clenched teeth.

The cry of their child was heard an hour later, just as he’d finally laid down with fatigue. He could only imagine how tired she must be.

He didn’t get to hold him but he saw him, grey eyes blinking at him with a scruff of dark hair. He smelled funny but he already knew he’d do anything for him, do anything to keep him safe just like Sansa.

“Darling,” his mother-in-law said, “Have you decided for sure about the name?”

“Yes. His name is Jon.”

* * *

  
At first, it was a never ending drudgery of forty-minute naps and feedings and diaper changes and crying, an endless cycle. He followed them everywhere around the house and, when Sansa would start to cry too, he’d be there to comfort her.

“Ghost watches over us both, Jon,” she’d say.

But soon, time had a way of speeding up on him. Little Jon would smile so big when he saw his mama or his daddy, those genuine social smiles that parents await so eagerly. Then, before long he was sitting up and soon he was crawling, it seemed.

He followed him everywhere. He’d curl up and nap by the crib if Sansa didn’t need him.

He’d watch over his son by day and lay by his wife at night. She’d caress his neck and shoulder until she’d drift off to sleep.

One night, a prowler came around. He could hear him outside. Sansa heard him, too. She grabbed the baby and was afraid, reaching for the phone. But he was there. He didn’t even need a gun, just his voice. He’d always protect them. He scared the prowler away.

* * *

  
Edd came over regularly to check on his wife and son. He was a good friend and a good partner. They’d always said they’d look after each other’s family no matter what. Edd had an elderly mother. Jon had a wife and son.

He wasn’t jealous that Edd could pick his son up when he couldn’t. He enjoyed watching his friend lift the baby up high in the air, getting belly laughs that would put a smile on that dour old face.

Some nights, Edd would stop by for coffee after Jon had been put to bed and they’d talk. He’d listen to everything they said but not all of it made sense.

But one time, Edd took Sansa’s hand in his, speaking earnestly and he didn’t like that.

“Ghost, no!” Sansa said sharply.

He was angry and confused. He backed away at her command all the same. He always did what she told him. He loved her and wanted to please her.

But she turned to Edd the next minute, gently pulling her hand away from his. “I’m sorry. I can’t…I can’t think of such things yet. Maybe not ever.”

* * *

  
Today was important somehow. He wasn’t sure why but Sansa had asked Edd to drive them somewhere. He enjoyed getting out once in a while. He got tired of always being at the house or in the yard.

He climbed into the back next to Little Jon and laid his head over the boy’s lap. He was nearly two now. He would giggle and tug at his ears. He didn’t mind.

“Are you sure, Sansa?”

“I just want to see it. I want to know where it happened.”

The car stopped and he got out. Sansa reached for their boy.

It was sunny out, not dusk like before. But he knew the smell of these woods. They woke something within him, some old hurt or fear, something bad had happened here.

Edd stood back a respectful distance with his hat in his hands and tears in his eyes again. He loved Edd and hated for his friend to be sad like this. But Sansa could never love Edd the way she loved him. They were meant to be together always.

Sansa was carrying their son, saying words the child didn’t understand. She just needed to get this out of her system. She needed to see it for herself.

“I know you don’t understand,” she whispered to the boy. “But this is where your father…”

She stopped speaking, too choked up with emotions, but Ghost understood at last.

_This is the field where I died._

**Author's Note:**

> And then, Sansa woke up from the horrible nightmare to the sound of Jon humming the theme music to 'Dallas' in the shower. {If you're unfamiliar with one of the zaniest twists in American television history, google Bobby Ewing's death and return}
> 
> Still friends? Tomorrow's fake dating AU fic will be MUCH lighter, I promise!


End file.
